overwhelming refreshment

i went home this weekend with a few missions in mind #1 finding anthony kell and ana and going to the chiro! well i arrived at the youth center around 4ish on friday after school to find kids playing basketball and rock band and hangin out! not a shock at the RIYC later that night i knew there would be a 5-6th grade club there "friday night FLAVA" and i heard that anthony was seen at school that day so i went home to unpack and hang out with family when i got a call hey anthony is hear tonight and you should go surprise him!! i was so on that! i walked in during message time and saw him and immediately a huge smile crossed both our faces!! i walked to the back and assumed my role of keeping kids quiet and i just looked out over the crowd of kids listening intently to this "cheesy" christian movie about heaven and hell and i looked at familiar faces and thought of all the memories i have had with so many of these kids the past 2 years! and the feeling was so overwhelming i was so refreshed to be in the place where i discovered my passion and GOd really grew my heart for the inner city in a huge way!!

after the message i looked up after prayer and kids darted to the gym to play ball and some stayed to pray and anthony in the front row hadnt moved so i went to talk to him and hug him cuz hes my boy!! and he was crying...this 10 year old boy was so overwhelmed by emotion that his mom and brothers and sister might not go to heaven with him he was brought to tears! mind you this is the kid who has raised his siblings and was living with another family because of homelessness (story described in previous blogs) i couldnt believe it so i prayed with him both of us tears streaming down our faces discussing what it meant when he accepted Christ in the back seat of my car and how that can never be taken away from him no matter what he does God will always love him and he is Gods son! as i sat and thought about how God used this very child to bring me to my knees and submit my future and my calling to Him i was so overwhelmed

i remember sitting in that very room wrestling with God about my future and really releasing my life to him and submitting to his will for me in that very room i prayed with Anthony that night...i remember discussions with brandy about how she knew i wasnt going to do anything but inner city ministry and i fought it and fought it (i am stubborn)

Even though God might want me somewhere else i know that i can always go back and feel the same way i did when i finally surrendered my will to God and the RIYC is always in my heart

i thank you GOd for times of refreshment and reflection of why i am where i am in life i thank you so much for anthony and kell and ana and all the other kids that have influenced my life in Rock Island i thank you so much for bringing them back and them being safe i pray that you would protect all the kids at CF physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally. be with them and move in the Rock Island Youth Center in a mighty way!

kids update

i received some sad news the other day about the kids in the previous blogs...brandy recently talked to a school administrator and said that anthony kell and arianna have not been back in school since the last time i dropped them off before christmas. there is no evidence they are in school in chicago either i hope and pray that they are safe i hope that all who read this will continue to have them in your prayers! thanks!

time to be the body!

So these past few days have been very very interesting! I left school on Thursday to go to KY for a trip and as im driving home on saturday stopped to see some friends and got a call didnt know the number but thats normal i figured it was a kid from the youth center and sure enough it was kell..."christina my mom wanted to see if we could spend the night at your house?" huh oh... i didnt know why but i had my mom call there and see what was going on and sure enough they were homeless again so my mom went over to get the 3 oldest kids didnt really have any intention of getting them but was handed a arm full of cloths and the medical card and told that she couldnt take care of them for a week! my heart dropped when my mom told me this!! so she went to church with the kids and got them some food... my mom was very upset and kell went into the sanctuary and saw his sunday school teachers and they offered to help and take the 2 boys. and ana is staying with us. This whole experience is teaching me so much about patience and the Love of Gods people. their teachers didnt need to take them in to their house with their kids and take care of 2 boys that are not always the easiest to deal with. Now the boys are saying we want to go home. because they have a safe warm and loving place to go home to where they are loved unconditionally no matter what their family has 2 older boys 16 and 12 who are amazing with them and have made them feel so welcome and they have positive role models to look up to! when i saw them walk out to the car for school today with their lunch sacs and a huge smile on their face so proud that someone made them a lunch i couldnt help but smile! thank you God for those people taking care of them like their own! please be praying for their mother and 6 month old brother for safety and for continued patience for those taking care of the other kids and for the kids to be calm and continue to act well for us! thanks for your prayers everyone! its during this time that we cannot forsake the body of christ!

Priceless

Anthony means Priceless

this might not make much sense if you didnt read my last blog fyi :)

Sitting here at my desk today something i don't often do is sit at my desk i was working on a paper and listening to some music and i had it on a random mix i have and a song came on one that just made me break down...it is called "will you take me as i am" by lecrae this song was one that was played at the highest level in my car on the way to church many a sundays with the kids i take to church. i remember the very meaningful conversations we had about the lyrics

Will you take me as I am
I know the way I'm living is wrong
But I can't change on my own, trying to make it alone
I wonder, how could you love me when my life so ugly
But you came down and died for me

Anthony asked me very perplexed one day...."christina will God REALLY take me as i am cuz i know i dont always do the right thing?" i said "Yes anthony that is why jesus came to die for us so we could give god our lives the good and the bad" this was so comforting to me...the little boy that accepted christ in the back seat of my car was really starting to understand Gods love for him in little ways through a christian rap song.

back to tonight i was sitting here thinking about these kids that have become so much a part of my life i thought "i hate this feeling my heart is breaking for these kids it wasnt supposed to be like this it was supposed to be a summer internship i was supposed to go on with my life after" but then as i sit here and think they have become so much a part of my life...the thought that they are not "safe" or where i can travel home and see them and know they are physically ok kills me they are apart of me and i cant change that anymore... but i wouldnt change my relationship with these kids for the world they have completely changed me and my perception of life. I hope i have taught them as much as they have taught me!

i remember my first encounter with this family i couldnt stand the little girl she whined and cried and the boys were the "bad" kids it wasnt till i was at camp with them my first summer at cf the boys just totally stole my heart! i saw first hand the hurt they carry with them everywhere they go as anthony sat on the phone crying being called alot of names i would have never heard come out of either of my parents mouths i cried and then he stole my heart... my boy anthony...i knew sitting in that van as we almost took him home from camp i was gonna have to take them to church... my boy anthony and forever he will be its not a coincidence his name means "priceless" there couldnt be a better name for such an amazing boy who is only 10 but has to grow up so fast! he is priceless in so many ways! i love sitting in church with him even when he falls asleep on me because he was up late take care of his baby brother or just wants me to put my arm around him and hold him all the kids i work with at cf hold a special place in my heart but there is something about this family that they just stole my heart! and they helped me realize that my calling is inner city ministry...

i hope and pray that you all are safe! Dear God please keep them safe and protect them physically spiritually, mentally and emotionally. God help them to contact us in some way so i can know where they are and that they are safe!

In God's Hands

So...this last weekend had its ups and downs i got to hang out with some amazing people but my worst fear was also confirmed the kids i have been constantly working with for over a year have not be able to be contacted for a few weeks as my mom went to get them for church they were not there. through talking with people and kids there is a rumor floating around that they have moved back to chicago without a warning and without their mother. these kids have been the center of my prayers and thoughts for so long and i will do everything in my power to find out where they are...then my mom said something to me as i cried that they are in Gods hands and we have to trust him with them because they are his anyways and he loves them more than we could ever love them. Then on sunday the pastor at the church i went to talked about how we shouldnt worry about anything because we are in Gods hands! it was very confirming for me! i remembered how much i need to give things over to God and not worry about it because its not my battle to fight! Everyone keep praying for Anthony, Kell, Arianna, and Tamajay for their spiritual, mental, and physical safety!

random thoughts

As i sit and think about what God has taken my family through in the last couple years its amazing we have made it out so well!! God has continued to bless us through what was a terrible circumstance. if things had not had happened who knows if i would have found my love for urban ministry or met some of the worlds most amazing kids! i sometimes find myself becoming angry again and by the worlds standard i have every right to be angry but God wants a higher standard for us! i love that about God he expects so much more out of us! God has an interesting way of showing his face in hard circumstances even if its just a little bit of light. sometimes he shows us that you have to go through hell to see what he can really do. even in the toughest time of hurt and even anguish God has always taken care of us and shown his grace through my fathers integrity which is amazing! just some random thoughts i was thinking about today!

Gods protection

Apparently God wanted me to know he is not yet done with me after sunday i dont think anyone will ever have to convince me of that i was driving on I-65 north coming back from an amazing weekend with Handel in Louisville and i was hit by a semi truck yes and 18 wheeler fell on my car. as you can tell from the picture and from what every emt told me i should have never walked away from this accident. God has interesting ways of showing us things doesnt he. he also showed me the overwhelming care of people handel and his friend came right to the hospital i was only about 20-30 min away from him and heather (my roommate) without even thinking and her bf jumped in the car and drove 3 hours to see me! my parents of course drove 6 hours from IA to come i definately have some loving wonderful people in my life that have taken wonderful care of me! i dont yet know whose fault it was or what the police are going to say the fault was but all i know is God isnt done with me yet god has truely blessed me with more life and i thank him for that! Thank you all who have been praying for me! i just wanted to share this with you so everyone knows God is a protector he certainly spared my life! thanks everyone!