time to be the body!

So these past few days have been very very interesting! I left school on Thursday to go to KY for a trip and as im driving home on saturday stopped to see some friends and got a call didnt know the number but thats normal i figured it was a kid from the youth center and sure enough it was kell..."christina my mom wanted to see if we could spend the night at your house?" huh oh... i didnt know why but i had my mom call there and see what was going on and sure enough they were homeless again so my mom went over to get the 3 oldest kids didnt really have any intention of getting them but was handed a arm full of cloths and the medical card and told that she couldnt take care of them for a week! my heart dropped when my mom told me this!! so she went to church with the kids and got them some food... my mom was very upset and kell went into the sanctuary and saw his sunday school teachers and they offered to help and take the 2 boys. and ana is staying with us. This whole experience is teaching me so much about patience and the Love of Gods people. their teachers didnt need to take them in to their house with their kids and take care of 2 boys that are not always the easiest to deal with. Now the boys are saying we want to go home. because they have a safe warm and loving place to go home to where they are loved unconditionally no matter what their family has 2 older boys 16 and 12 who are amazing with them and have made them feel so welcome and they have positive role models to look up to! when i saw them walk out to the car for school today with their lunch sacs and a huge smile on their face so proud that someone made them a lunch i couldnt help but smile! thank you God for those people taking care of them like their own! please be praying for their mother and 6 month old brother for safety and for continued patience for those taking care of the other kids and for the kids to be calm and continue to act well for us! thanks for your prayers everyone! its during this time that we cannot forsake the body of christ!

Priceless

Anthony means Priceless

this might not make much sense if you didnt read my last blog fyi :)

Sitting here at my desk today something i don't often do is sit at my desk i was working on a paper and listening to some music and i had it on a random mix i have and a song came on one that just made me break down...it is called "will you take me as i am" by lecrae this song was one that was played at the highest level in my car on the way to church many a sundays with the kids i take to church. i remember the very meaningful conversations we had about the lyrics

Will you take me as I am
I know the way I'm living is wrong
But I can't change on my own, trying to make it alone
I wonder, how could you love me when my life so ugly
But you came down and died for me

Anthony asked me very perplexed one day...."christina will God REALLY take me as i am cuz i know i dont always do the right thing?" i said "Yes anthony that is why jesus came to die for us so we could give god our lives the good and the bad" this was so comforting to me...the little boy that accepted christ in the back seat of my car was really starting to understand Gods love for him in little ways through a christian rap song.

back to tonight i was sitting here thinking about these kids that have become so much a part of my life i thought "i hate this feeling my heart is breaking for these kids it wasnt supposed to be like this it was supposed to be a summer internship i was supposed to go on with my life after" but then as i sit here and think they have become so much a part of my life...the thought that they are not "safe" or where i can travel home and see them and know they are physically ok kills me they are apart of me and i cant change that anymore... but i wouldnt change my relationship with these kids for the world they have completely changed me and my perception of life. I hope i have taught them as much as they have taught me!

i remember my first encounter with this family i couldnt stand the little girl she whined and cried and the boys were the "bad" kids it wasnt till i was at camp with them my first summer at cf the boys just totally stole my heart! i saw first hand the hurt they carry with them everywhere they go as anthony sat on the phone crying being called alot of names i would have never heard come out of either of my parents mouths i cried and then he stole my heart... my boy anthony...i knew sitting in that van as we almost took him home from camp i was gonna have to take them to church... my boy anthony and forever he will be its not a coincidence his name means "priceless" there couldnt be a better name for such an amazing boy who is only 10 but has to grow up so fast! he is priceless in so many ways! i love sitting in church with him even when he falls asleep on me because he was up late take care of his baby brother or just wants me to put my arm around him and hold him all the kids i work with at cf hold a special place in my heart but there is something about this family that they just stole my heart! and they helped me realize that my calling is inner city ministry...

i hope and pray that you all are safe! Dear God please keep them safe and protect them physically spiritually, mentally and emotionally. God help them to contact us in some way so i can know where they are and that they are safe!

In God's Hands

So...this last weekend had its ups and downs i got to hang out with some amazing people but my worst fear was also confirmed the kids i have been constantly working with for over a year have not be able to be contacted for a few weeks as my mom went to get them for church they were not there. through talking with people and kids there is a rumor floating around that they have moved back to chicago without a warning and without their mother. these kids have been the center of my prayers and thoughts for so long and i will do everything in my power to find out where they are...then my mom said something to me as i cried that they are in Gods hands and we have to trust him with them because they are his anyways and he loves them more than we could ever love them. Then on sunday the pastor at the church i went to talked about how we shouldnt worry about anything because we are in Gods hands! it was very confirming for me! i remembered how much i need to give things over to God and not worry about it because its not my battle to fight! Everyone keep praying for Anthony, Kell, Arianna, and Tamajay for their spiritual, mental, and physical safety!

random thoughts

As i sit and think about what God has taken my family through in the last couple years its amazing we have made it out so well!! God has continued to bless us through what was a terrible circumstance. if things had not had happened who knows if i would have found my love for urban ministry or met some of the worlds most amazing kids! i sometimes find myself becoming angry again and by the worlds standard i have every right to be angry but God wants a higher standard for us! i love that about God he expects so much more out of us! God has an interesting way of showing his face in hard circumstances even if its just a little bit of light. sometimes he shows us that you have to go through hell to see what he can really do. even in the toughest time of hurt and even anguish God has always taken care of us and shown his grace through my fathers integrity which is amazing! just some random thoughts i was thinking about today!

Gods protection

Apparently God wanted me to know he is not yet done with me after sunday i dont think anyone will ever have to convince me of that i was driving on I-65 north coming back from an amazing weekend with Handel in Louisville and i was hit by a semi truck yes and 18 wheeler fell on my car. as you can tell from the picture and from what every emt told me i should have never walked away from this accident. God has interesting ways of showing us things doesnt he. he also showed me the overwhelming care of people handel and his friend came right to the hospital i was only about 20-30 min away from him and heather (my roommate) without even thinking and her bf jumped in the car and drove 3 hours to see me! my parents of course drove 6 hours from IA to come i definately have some loving wonderful people in my life that have taken wonderful care of me! i dont yet know whose fault it was or what the police are going to say the fault was but all i know is God isnt done with me yet god has truely blessed me with more life and i thank him for that! Thank you all who have been praying for me! i just wanted to share this with you so everyone knows God is a protector he certainly spared my life! thanks everyone!

jesus loves porn stars

Last week in chapel we had an emphasis week on the issue of human trafficking and the sex trade and how it is alive and well even in our own country and that there are more slaves in the world today than at any other point in history. there are a lot of reasons this is a huge deal because most of them in the trade are children that are forced into the sex trade or sold by their parents for various reasons.

this week we have the xxx church pastor here. today he shared with us how he goes to porn shows with a huge banner at his booth that says jesus loves porn stars and hands our bibles. he said something that stuck with me today..."the darkness isnt the problem its that the light wont go into the darkness" i think that is so true in our churches today we often are afraid to tackle issues such as pornography or anything related to sex which is interesting because it is addressed in the bible and it is obviously a huge issue in our culture all you have to do is watch commercials to see that. He shared stories about how when they went to their first show he didnt know what to expect but they were embraced and asked to come back at a discounted price he called it the "christian discount at the porn show" they have since been to many shows and shared the gospel with many people and he was interviewd by Maury on his show and it will air this week. its incredible to hear some of his stories God works even at porn shows! (You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. Genesis 50:20) its crazy how even in the darkness people crave the light the speaker got an email and was invited to go to a gay porn show and the email told him to bring bibles because he always runs out crazy how God works! just some thoughts from today

worry

So...i worry...ALOT...those that know me know this all too well! lately the topic on my mind has been what to do when i graduate...what city will i work in?...what aspect of ministry do i want to be involved in?...all these questions floating around in my mind. its crazy to think that when i came here to HU i had every intention of going to grad school and becoming a therapist i was very goal minded and was going to stop at nothing till i achieved that goal. my friends and i even joke about it now how my life is so different from 4 years ago when i enrolled here as an eger psych student. God had different plans he made situations in my family difficult which brought me home for a summer with not knowing what to do so i knew i had a passion for poor people so i talked to a friend and got an interview at Christian Friendliness and was soon the intern for the childrens director there who can attest that all summer she told me i wasnt going to go to grad school i was going to be in urban ministry...i nodded politely and said well if thats what you think... i fought it all summer that still small voice saying you are made for this kinda thing. so all summer i fought it and she will tell you that! finally i had a breaking point with God at the end of that summer where i got on my knees and decided not to fight it anymore i was going to be open to what God had for me in this context. then i really opened my heart to the kids there and they are a part of my life now a very important part at that! they are a huge part of my prayer life and my thoughts i love them with my whole heart and we have a very special relationship they are my precious gifts from God no matter how they act or what they do!

what a change from 2 years previous with my goals of being a therapist and making money while helping people. what a different mindset i have about life and how things should be done. my mind has shifted from all about me not to completely other centered but more god has brought alot of selfishness out of me through my relationship with the kids. but i still worry! i know where God leads he will provide but i worry. i dont know why or anything i just know i worry alot! then a wise friend of mine told me worrying shows a lack of faith on my part and i need to worry about nothing but in everything by prayer and petition bring your requests to God...you know how the verse goes.

so...im still left with a decision a big decision i want where ever i go to be what God wants for me so i continue to think and pray about it! i know these are very random thoughts sorry for my scatter brain but thats how i work!

looking in the mirror

May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart.
May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.
May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain in to joy.
And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done.
-Franciscan Benediction

I have thought about this alot lately after reading it on my friends blog i now have it up on my mirror so that when i get ready in the morning and for bed at night i read it and remember that i need to be constantly striving for justice and fighting for those who are oppressed and being Jesus to people who are less fortunate in many different ways not just financial. It reminds me that i need to be on my face each night praying for those who are in pain for starving or oppressed and praying for peace. I do pray that i can make a difference even if it is just in one persons life it was worth the fight!

I should be so lucky to live the life i do i pray i will never take it for granted ever again!

I pray for the picture of the neighborhood above everyday i pray that people in the community would seek Jesus as their savior and for the safety of the kids there i have the privilege of serving and i pray that people in the community would seek justice for the people there!

Sometimes all it takes is stepping back and taking a look in the mirror and realizing we are not better than anyone and we need to stop thinking we are by not just our words but our actions or lack there of!

thinking about kids!

So i was asked to write a article for the CF news letter about something and i have been dreading writing it for a while! but today i sat down and wrote about 3 kids that changed my life! and it made me reflect on that and look at their life and how for kids the most people would count as a loss have taught me so much! but like i said in the article it hasnt always been easy (running around RI looking for anthony because he ran away from the youth center, or breaking up fights) something happened when i stopped looking at them like the "bad kids" that fought and caused problems and looked behind that mask and saw insecure kids that is just reaching out for love and attention in any way! also when i examined why he acted the way he did and got to know the kids family situations it changes the way you think about every child! i never want to pass judgment on a kid or person for any reason because you dont know what situation each kid comes from!
Nothing will ever make my heart smile as much as pulling into their neighborhood and seeing them smile and run up to hug me! what an amazing privilege God has given me to serve these kids in his name!!!!!! :)

Chi-Town

Brandy and i took a spontaneous road trip to chicago this weekend and we left saturday morning early!! we arrived in chicago with not much of a plan but soon navigated to fulerton rd in chicago to visit inner city impact then back to our home base at moody then collaborated and headed to a ministry neither of us had heard of before this trip but it is the oldest inner city ministry in the country Pacific Garden Mission neither of us knew what was in store for us there GOd had great plans!it just so happened that they do tours of their new facility every saturday and we got to hear their broadcast of the radio show "unshackled" which is aired all over the world!! well PGM is a ministry that serves the homeless in chicago and they had to leave their place on state street in chicago because the city didnt want to deal with it anymore and they wanted the homeless outside of the city but as the bible says "what you meant for evil God meant for good" and he did he has blessed this ministry that houses 800 women men and children each night!! the new facility is amazing everyone that showed us around is in the 1 year program where they learn about the bible and work at the facility with very strict rules!! these people were amazing! their stories of being on the streets and battling with addictions were amazing!! this ministry is not only a house for the homeless because as they say we are all homeless unless we know where we are going when we die! they have 5 bible services a day for the people and last month alone they served 75000 meals and gave out over 43000 pieces of cloths!! God is so good to this ministry!! they also to into the economically depressed places in chicago and hand out their left overs and share the gospel with the people!!

Then God wasnt done with us we got back and quickly left for the House in Laundale where we got lost in a interesting neighborhood!! the house is the hip hop church service at laundale community church put on by phil jackson who co-authored the book the hip hop church. it was an experience like i had never had before!! the people that would go to this service may never be found in church besides at this service and the gospel was preached and it was awesome!!

God still had more plans for us as we went to laundale community church for church on sunday this is the church where the founders of the CCDA(Christian community development association) have started the ministry known as the CCDA where you assess your community and you meet the needs!! it was amazing this church owns almost a whole street in urban chicago they have a medical clinic church, boys home for boys with addictions, gym, youth center, education help and so much more it was inspiring made me realize how much we need to do a community needs assessment in Rock Island and see what the real needs are and try to accomplish them!!

i love visiting other minitries that target the same people we do it is nice ot learn off of other people and see what they are doing!!

working at the youth center

Working at the youth center is so much more to me than just a job...this has become my life. every part of me my prayer life, my walk with god, and my relationships with everyone! The kids are incredible to me no matter how many times i get cussed at or disrespected i still love them and want them to come back to the center.which is crazy because in every other part of my life my patience level is not existent. God has blessed me to have patience with kids that are sometimes hard to love. i want nothing more than to show the kids another way of life and show them they are loved for who they and that each one of them has so much potential.

as i was doing camp sign up today a child asked me to bring them to church and i am over the capacity in the van i take which is terrible i would love to bring every kid that asks me but right now i cant. so i say a prayer for that child and try not to let it bring me down. Brandy also found this cool church here in Rock Island that has welcomed our children with open arms so we have had the unique opportunity to invite the families to this church sunday for the BBQ they will be holding i love that we can tell people that we have a church they could attend and know they will be welcomed with open arms! Praise God for answered prayers!

ME

Hello everyone...i just started blogging again so a little about myself...i am going to be a senior psychology major at Huntington University. i have completely fallen in love with Urban Ministry. My live has completely changed i love working with kids in Rock Island Illinois at Youth hope youth center! The kids have become my hero i learn so much from them about what is really important in life and how i should be a better example to them. so hopefully ill be returning after i graduate to work at YH!