jesus loves porn stars

Last week in chapel we had an emphasis week on the issue of human trafficking and the sex trade and how it is alive and well even in our own country and that there are more slaves in the world today than at any other point in history. there are a lot of reasons this is a huge deal because most of them in the trade are children that are forced into the sex trade or sold by their parents for various reasons.

this week we have the xxx church pastor here. today he shared with us how he goes to porn shows with a huge banner at his booth that says jesus loves porn stars and hands our bibles. he said something that stuck with me today..."the darkness isnt the problem its that the light wont go into the darkness" i think that is so true in our churches today we often are afraid to tackle issues such as pornography or anything related to sex which is interesting because it is addressed in the bible and it is obviously a huge issue in our culture all you have to do is watch commercials to see that. He shared stories about how when they went to their first show he didnt know what to expect but they were embraced and asked to come back at a discounted price he called it the "christian discount at the porn show" they have since been to many shows and shared the gospel with many people and he was interviewd by Maury on his show and it will air this week. its incredible to hear some of his stories God works even at porn shows! (You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. Genesis 50:20) its crazy how even in the darkness people crave the light the speaker got an email and was invited to go to a gay porn show and the email told him to bring bibles because he always runs out crazy how God works! just some thoughts from today

worry

So...i worry...ALOT...those that know me know this all too well! lately the topic on my mind has been what to do when i graduate...what city will i work in?...what aspect of ministry do i want to be involved in?...all these questions floating around in my mind. its crazy to think that when i came here to HU i had every intention of going to grad school and becoming a therapist i was very goal minded and was going to stop at nothing till i achieved that goal. my friends and i even joke about it now how my life is so different from 4 years ago when i enrolled here as an eger psych student. God had different plans he made situations in my family difficult which brought me home for a summer with not knowing what to do so i knew i had a passion for poor people so i talked to a friend and got an interview at Christian Friendliness and was soon the intern for the childrens director there who can attest that all summer she told me i wasnt going to go to grad school i was going to be in urban ministry...i nodded politely and said well if thats what you think... i fought it all summer that still small voice saying you are made for this kinda thing. so all summer i fought it and she will tell you that! finally i had a breaking point with God at the end of that summer where i got on my knees and decided not to fight it anymore i was going to be open to what God had for me in this context. then i really opened my heart to the kids there and they are a part of my life now a very important part at that! they are a huge part of my prayer life and my thoughts i love them with my whole heart and we have a very special relationship they are my precious gifts from God no matter how they act or what they do!

what a change from 2 years previous with my goals of being a therapist and making money while helping people. what a different mindset i have about life and how things should be done. my mind has shifted from all about me not to completely other centered but more god has brought alot of selfishness out of me through my relationship with the kids. but i still worry! i know where God leads he will provide but i worry. i dont know why or anything i just know i worry alot! then a wise friend of mine told me worrying shows a lack of faith on my part and i need to worry about nothing but in everything by prayer and petition bring your requests to God...you know how the verse goes.

so...im still left with a decision a big decision i want where ever i go to be what God wants for me so i continue to think and pray about it! i know these are very random thoughts sorry for my scatter brain but thats how i work!

looking in the mirror

May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart.
May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.
May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain in to joy.
And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done.
-Franciscan Benediction

I have thought about this alot lately after reading it on my friends blog i now have it up on my mirror so that when i get ready in the morning and for bed at night i read it and remember that i need to be constantly striving for justice and fighting for those who are oppressed and being Jesus to people who are less fortunate in many different ways not just financial. It reminds me that i need to be on my face each night praying for those who are in pain for starving or oppressed and praying for peace. I do pray that i can make a difference even if it is just in one persons life it was worth the fight!

I should be so lucky to live the life i do i pray i will never take it for granted ever again!

I pray for the picture of the neighborhood above everyday i pray that people in the community would seek Jesus as their savior and for the safety of the kids there i have the privilege of serving and i pray that people in the community would seek justice for the people there!

Sometimes all it takes is stepping back and taking a look in the mirror and realizing we are not better than anyone and we need to stop thinking we are by not just our words but our actions or lack there of!